Double 0
by Sheankelor
Summary: Albus heard a song about a secret agent man, and decided that Severus needed a number. Severus doesn't agree with his choice, but how can he get his headstrong friend to change his mind? An Unlikely Friends Universe tale.


_Thanks to Yen for gently pointing out a few errors and making this all that much better. Oh, and Johnny River's song Secret Agent Man was the inspiration for this, and the one that Albus was listening to.  
_

_Double 0_

"Severus?" Albus' voice came from the fireplace. "Severus, are you home?"

Severus stirred the cauldron once more before glancing over at the green flames. "I'm here, but I can't come to the floo. If you wish, come through."

The flames shot higher and Dumbledore passed through them, stepping into the rundown living room. The walls were covered in slightly sagging bookshelves, the furniture looked as if they had not been replaced in half a century, but the entire place was clean. The sunlight streaming through the window had hardly a dust particle to illuminate.

Albus took all of this in at a glance and then rested his gaze on the reason for him being there. Severus had a makeshift workstation set up near the open window, ingredients were piled up haphazardly about it and a cauldron bubbling away on it. "I am sorry that you had to come back here this week, Severus."

Shaking his head, Severus glanced back at the Headmaster before returning his attention to the potion. "It is fine, Headmaster. The castle had some work that needed done, and no one is allowed to be there. Sir Nicholas, The Baron, The Grey Lady and The Fat Friar are all watching the workmen closely, right?"

Albus crossed the room so that he was in Severus' line as sight as he spoke. "Yes, of course they are. Maybe you could come to my place for the rest of the week? I have a workroom that can easily accommodate your brewing."

Lifting his eyes to the concerned blue ones, Severus raised one eyebrow. "I do have a lab here, a well stocked one." He continued when Albus shot a look at the makeshift table. "This particular potion needs sunlight and a fresh breeze. I am taking advantage of the clear skies, breeze, and the low temperatures this morning."

"Ah! That explains it. So, how has your week been going, Severus?" Albus smiled at his friend as the man set his stirring rod to the side of the cauldron and picked up an ingredient that he could not identify in its prepared state.

"Albus, if you are here for idle chitchat, can you wait? Pick a book off the shelf and I'll be done in about thirty minutes." Severus watched as the steam rising from the cauldron changed from a pale gray to a vibrant purple.

"Of course." Turning to the shelves, Albus hunted down something that might interest him that he hadn't read before. Settling on the winged backed armchair, he started reading.

The music penetrated his attention. Blinking, he looked about attempting to find where it was coming from and spotted the radio on the mantle. Staring at it, he listened to the song that caught his attention. He had no clue what it was called, but the man was singing about a secret agent man and what he faced. The part that truly caught his attention was the refrain - how the agent had a number and not a name. He wondered how his own secret agent would handle being called by a number. Closing his book, he started thinking of what would be an appropriate number for Severus.

Ò.Ô & ʘ.ʘ

Severus was glad to be back at Hogwarts. Even though his Spinner's End lab was comfortable, this one had elves to help out if something went wrong. Cleaning up the last bit of the glassware from where it had landed in the explosion, he thanked the elf as she popped away.

"007, I am glad that the explosion didn't hurt you." Albus stood at the door where Severus had ordered him to stay when he had attempted to rush into the room just moments earlier.

Severus stopped what he was doing and glared at Albus. "I've told you not to call me that. I don't care how taken you are with the idea that I am your secret agent. Johnny Rivers isn't the one to be trusting about if they have numbers. I am also your only agent, so I shouldn't be number seven."

"Not just seven, Severus, but 007." The gentle correction was met with a stronger glare. "Seven is a magically strong number, so I thought it would suit you, and the double zeros show that there is no-one ahead of you."

Severus sighed as he leaned against his table. "I don't want to be 007, Albus. Find another number if you are insistent on this."

At the stubborn look in the older man's blue eyes, Severus could tell that Albus wasn't planning on changing the number without a better reason. It was then that he decided to prove to Albus that he was in no shape or form James Bond.

Ò.Ô & ʘ.ʘ

Severus entered Albus' office and after a quick look over the desk to judge the amount of work, he settled his attention on the man sitting behind it. "You are coming with me. Let's go."

After searching the resolve in the dark haired man's face, Albus put his quill away and crossed the room. "So, where are we off to, 007?"

Severus shook his head and strode out of the office, his answer floating back over his shoulder. "I am not 007. I would do better as a member of SPECTRE or SMERSH. Honestly, 007 is too … too brash to be me."

"Who?" Albus never got an answer no matter how much he badgered as he followed Severus. He stopped when they passed through Hogwarts gates.

Severus reached over, took Albus' arm and Apparated them to his house. "Have a seat, Albus and you will get part of your answer."

Severus waited for the older man to settle onto the sofa facing the telly before heading into the kitchen for a bowl of popcorn. When he returned, he handed the bowl to Albus and then started the movie.

"Severus, what is this?" Albus stared at the pictures on the screen trying to determine just what they were watching.

"This is a film. Specifically, this is Thunderball. Now watch and don't ask lots of questions during it." Severus settled on the other side of the sofa within reaching distance of the popcorn.

Settling deeper into the surprisingly comfortable sofa, Albus did his best to do as Severus asked. By time the film was finished, he had a feeling he knew what the Potions Master was saying. "007 is a good agent, Severus. You should be honored that I picked that number for you."

Severus shook his head and sighed. "Albus, James Bond rushes about and blows his cover right and left, if he ever had a cover. He is flamboyant, he stands out, he rushes in with hardly a plan. 007 is … is too much of a Gryffindor. If you must call me a number, find something else."

Sighing, Albus nodded.

Ò.Ô & ʘ.ʘ

Severus settled at the head table pleased with the last week's reprieve. Albus had not given him a new number yet. He could see the wheels turning behind those blue eyes, so he knew it was just a matter of time.

"Ah, 003, nice of you to make it up out of the dungeons today, my dear boy." Albus smiled broadly at Severus as he sat in his seat.

Severus closed his eyes and sighed. Yes, the reprieve was over. "Why 003, Albus?"

"Three is another magical number, just as much as seven is. So, it will work to protect you from Voldemort when he returns, and his minions while you wait. The "double 0" because you do have the license to kill to complete whatever task is given you." Albus paused a moment as he looked over the house tables. "Except teaching the students, of course."

Raising an eyebrow, Severus pretended like his hopes had been dashed. It was just Albus here. "Teaching them is an important part of my cover. If I have the license to kill, then surely it should be extended to all sections of my job?"

Albus searched the dark eyes that were watching him for just a moment before laughing. "No, my dear boy, I fear that their death would lead to an investigation and that would then lead to you loosing your needed position. See, detrimental to your cover, and you are better than 007 so you would not wish to be removed from your position because you couldn't maintain your cover."

Severus gave a large sigh and then smiled slightly. "Very well, Albus. You have argued your case well. The students lives have been spared."

Chuckling, Albus served his plate and then offered the potatoes and roast to Severus. "I take it that the film was based on books? Who is the author?"

"The original one was Ian Fleming." Severus filled his plate as he answered.

"I shall order them and see what else Mr. Bond does. His adventures do seem like so much fun."

Albus' eyes twinkled brighter at Severus' exasperated "_Gryffindors!"_.


End file.
